MOAV101

you PAID to go to school??? hahahahahahahahaha

M O A V 101
not an actual photo
Our Safety Director says:, "Garlic makes my feet stink ".

Here are FREE MOAV courses you can take!

At MOAV there is no need for books or teachers or any of that distracting stuff - just concentrate on the aura of your MOAVteacher,and you will absorb their mighty knowledge.

Then scroll down and You will be asked to enter your email address at the bottom of this page.

MOAV Courses, Instructor: MOAVTommy

MOAV University, College of Travel, Food & Wine Department
Findings from Truk 1999 Curriculum.

TRV 211 - "How to Smuggle Wine into Developing Countries", and the follow-up,
TRV 212 - "How to Declare Smuggled Wine and Still Not Have to Pay for it"
TRV 214 - "Packing Enough Wine for 12 Days:Three Cases is Not Enough.

TRV 311 - "Gourmet Restaurant Dining in Micronesia"
                   Selected Chapters:
     - "The Perfect Western Omelet: Green Beans and Carrots Are Not Allowed"
     - "Required Condiments: How Tabasco and Soy Sauce Can Fix Anything"
     - "Preparing Filet Mignons ( Thou Shalt Not Butterfly Them ) "
     - "The Perfect Cheeseburger", or "Swiss Cheese is Not Orange"
     - "Lima Beans Are Not a Green Leafy Vegetable"
     - "Assembling a World-Class Wine List: Moving Beyond White, Red and Pink"
     - "Salad Preparation: White Cabbage and 1000 Island Don't Count"
     - "The Real Deal: Hey! We're 7000 Miles from Home! EAT WHAT YOU GET!"

MOAV Courses, Instructor: MOAVSammy

PSYCH 101: I'm OK, Your'e OK- Your dive buddy is not your therapist.

PSYCH 102: Out of Air Situations- Coping with co-dependency

ELEC 101: Copulation: Cure for sea anemone and fire coral injuries
(findings from 7/98 Cozumel)

ELEC 102: Pool Ettiquette (further findings from 7/98 Cozumel)

AA 101: Drinking and Diving Responsibly (cancelled due to lack of interest)

AA 102: The SCUDA- Keeping your blood alcohol level constant,
even when your depth is not.

to take the following courses you must be able to tell your instructor what FNG means.
Professional Level (i.e. instructors and divemasters)

ETHICS 101: Fraternizing w/ Students: Why it is best to wait till after
certification ( in most cases)

ETHICS 102: Cultivating Lasting Relationships w/ Students
(formerly known as: Get them drunk and lie your ass off)

ETHICS 103: Groping Responsibly and Discreetly

PHIL 101:   Women and Diving: Establishing weight and countenance standards
                        in the Industry (formerly: No fat, ugly chicks
                       changed due to pending civil action)

ELEC 101: The Divemaster's Role- Why the Instructor gets first choice of
students for groping, dates, and other carnal pleasures

ELEC 102: Customers and Incarceration (findings from 7/98 Cozumel, also
covers DWI in Mexico and bribing Mexican public officials)

SPECIAL CONTINUING EDUCATION COURSES

The following course(s) taught by MOAVEdward

CONT ED 101   NEW NAVIGATION TECHNIQUES or finding your
                            way back to the boat. Learn the valuable tools of
                            navigation diving like digging X's into the sand and breaking
                            off strategically placed pieces of coral to guide you back to your
                            point of entry.

The following course taught by MOAVRuss

CONT ED 102 Diving Deeper than the Ocean Floor. Taught by the Master himself!

The following courses taught by the Princess of Moav, MOAVBonnie

CONT ED 103 What to do when the dive master panics (also how to hide the body)
(Prerequisite course for how to hide bodies)

CONT ED 104 How to hide the bodies (how to catch, kill and fillet the annoying diver
in your group)

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